september

oh, autumn. how i love thee.

nothing gets me jazzed for life like my favorite time of year. countless exciting things happen in rapid succession, which i think helps build some steam to help barrel through the winter. firstly, there's the gorgeous weather. maybe it's part of my woodsy upbringing with its combination of girl guides and an outdoorsy dad, maybe i'm just strange, but i'm completely in love with what mother nature does when she does it right. i sometimes...well, often really, i find myself just overwhelmed with joy and appreciation of...i guess "nature" is the appropriate word. but that sounds way cheesier than i want it to. i see the leaves waving on the trees, the sun painting brilliant color across the sky, i hear the soothing rhythm of the waves, i feel the breeze on my face and...it's one of the few times i feel a real sense of peace. and not just the pause-for-a-moment-to-keep-running kind. the kind that comes from knowing you are surrounded and loved by god. and that means that everything will be ok. even if it's not.

luckily baltimore is still cool enough to have fall temperatures and changing colors of leaves. and! the colors last longer. the sun serves to bathe the outside world in beauty rather than broiling it. it's cool enough to be comfortable. the air is crisp enough to wake you up and make you take note of the place you've found yourself in.

i love it.

plus there's what fall signifies in the timeline of my current existence, namely the start of the fall semester. and this year that brings with it a slew of new and anxiety-provoking exciting things. i'm doing therapy. with real clients. i'm doing assessment. with real people. i have more professional responsibility than i ever have, and i feel less prepared than i think i should. i'm not great at this yet. maybe someday, but not yet. it's fun either way. on monday, after seeing my first pancake, i felt that sense of exhiliration that comes with knowing you're in the right place, on the right path, making headway toward the rest of your life. it's a good, albeit fleeting, feeling.

at the moment, the weather and a relatively homework-free schedule have left me feeling strong, and if not confident, than at least under the impression that i can handle my shit. we'll see how long it lasts ;)